On Integrity

Of course I'll begin with a definition to give us the opportunity to be of the same general understanding.

From the dictionary:

"in·teg·ri·ty (ĭn-tĕg'rĭ-tē)
[Middle English integrite, from Old French, from Latin integritās, soundness, from integer, whole, complete.]
noun
Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness."

When we speak of a person's integrity we say a person either has integrity or lacks integrity.

Think of the people you know in your life. Of those you can count on to BE THERE for you, do they HAVE or LACK integrity? Generally I think you'll find that they HAVE integrity. On occasion we find a drama queen or two will BE THERE but not for you, for the drama and usually to be in the center of it all. Ah, but that is for another discussion.

A dear friend recently said that anyone who really knows me would also realize that a lack of honesty and integrity are sure to ire me. This is very astute of her. What I have noticed time and again is that people will BLAME someone else for their lack of integrity. "She MADE me do it." or "If only so and so would have done X, I wouldn't have blah, blah, blah."

Does anyone really believe those are accurate reasonings? Please don't believe it. It defies logic to blame someone else for our choices.

When we have INTEGRITY, strong moral and ethical characteristics, we don't blame others for our choices. Instead, we accept responsibility for our choices and if we cause harm, we try to rectify things.

Sometimes when we exhibit strong morals and ethics in our behaviors people say we are being "mean". Is this really the case? If you answer yes, please read Cloud and Townsend's "Boundries" before continuing to read here ;). No, this is not the case.

Think about it for a minute though. WHY would someone say that a person with strong morals and ethics is mean? Well, there are many reasons. Feel free to list those that come to mind for you and we can discuss them. I'll present one scenario. The accusing person is doing something wrong and doesn't want it to be known.

A person who has something to hide will AUTOMATICALLY divert attention from themselves onto the person most likely to expose them. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. The saddest part is that a lot of people fall for it. THAT is another discussion as well, "Why people fall for lies."

Ideally we will cultivate and maintain strong morals and ethics (without becoming rigid and black and white in our thinking). The effect this will have IS to expose what isn't right and to take a strong stand for doing the right things for the right reasons. Encouraging others to take responsibility for their actions (those of you raising children like I am take note) is an excellent way to foster strong morals and ethics. If we are brave enough to admit when we are wrong, we are MORE likely to make the right choice the first time in a given situation right? Right. It really makes life easier and more clear.